There’s a kind of pain that goes deeper than betrayal. It’s not just heartbreak—it’s psychological disorientation. The kind that creeps in slowly, as you begin to question your instincts, your memories, even your worth. When truth is twisted, when intuition is dismissed, and when you begin to question your own sanity. This post is not for everyone - it is for those who have found themselves in that disorienting space, caught in the web of someone who weaponises vulnerability and connection.
This is for anyone—man or woman—who has ever been blindsided, gaslit, or undermined by a distorted form of feminine energy. And to be clear, I’m not referring to women who may have acted out of pain, trauma, or emotional triggers. We all carry wounds, and we've all made mistakes in judgment, action, or reaction as a result. That’s part of being human. That’s not this.
I’m talking about something darker. More calculated. The kind of feminine energy that doesn’t stem from trauma, but from choice. A woman who knows exactly what she’s doing—who manipulates, deceives, and destroys not out of confusion, but out of strategy. She’s charming, seductive, and spiritually hollow. She plays the victim when it benefits her, spins truths to divide, and smiles while planting the seed of chaos. She moves without a moral compass, seeing people not as humans, but as pieces on a chessboard to be used or discarded. This is the distorted feminine—seductive, strategic, overly charming and often masked as something angelic, nurturing or innocent, while quietly orchestrating chaos.
If you’ve been on the receiving end of this, you know how destabilising it can be. The confusion, the self-doubt, the feeling that something is off—but being unable to prove it. The sabotage happens in whispers, in omissions, in subtle games that make you question your own reality. And if you’ve never encountered it, it might sound exaggerated or dramatic. But those who’ve lived it know: it’s real. And it’s damaging.
Why Does This Happen?
This kind of sabotage often happens to those who carry light—people who are deeply empathetic, spiritually attuned, or actively working to grow into their highest selves. If you’re someone on an awakening journey, someone anchoring truth, integrity, or inner wisdom into your life, you may unintentionally attract individuals operating from distorted feminine energy. It's not a reflection of your weakness—it's often because your presence disrupts their illusion of control.
It's an initiation through fire—one that forces you to refine your discernment, trust your intuition more deeply, and build unshakable boundaries. It's a firewalk into self-trust. Because when everything outside of you is distorted, you’re left with only one compass: your inner truth.
"She tried to unravel me with whispers, shadows, and games—but she didn’t realise I was forged in truth. I didn’t just survive her sabotage—I rose from it. Sharper. Softer. Sovereign."
While there's no exact number to define how many women embody this kind of distorted energy, the traits—emotional manipulation, passive aggression, covert control, seduction-as-power—are more common than we might like to admit. These behaviours don’t always come from diagnosable disorders like narcissism or sociopathy. More often, they emerge from unhealed trauma, generational conditioning, and dysfunctional role modelling. That does not make their behaviour excusable, because most of us have endured trauma and pain.
In a world that has historically disempowered women, many were taught to survive not through voice or direct power, but through emotional influence, subtle control, or learned helplessness. When this wounding goes unchecked, it forms what we call the distorted feminine: a persona that looks soft and supportive on the surface, but beneath it carries resentment, manipulation, and deep fear of vulnerability.
Some of these women were never shown a healthy model of feminine power. Others learned early that honesty didn’t keep them safe, and that performance brought more reward than truth. And yes, in some cases, there are deeper psychological disorders at play. But no matter the source, the impact on those they target is profoundly damaging—and often invisible to the outside world.
Can They Heal?
Yes. But most won't.
Healing the distorted feminine requires a level of honesty and self-awareness that many aren’t ready to face. It means surrendering the mask. It means confronting the envy, the need for control, the fear of softness. And it means releasing manipulation as a survival strategy—choosing vulnerability, truth, and embodied power instead.
It’s not an easy path. But it is a transformational one.
The distorted feminine is not inherently evil—it is simply a fragmented expression of power. And with enough courage, a woman trapped in that energy can alchemise it. She can become the divine feminine—clear in her truth, soft in her presence, fierce in her boundaries, and deeply aligned with love.
But until that healing happens, her energy remains dangerous to those who carry light.
What matters more than any statistic or clinical label is this: your experience is real. Whether it shows up in 1% of women or 10%, whether it came from a diagnosed disorder or deep emotional wounding, the harm you endured is valid. You don’t need a diagnosis or statistic to justify your pain. You lived it. That’s enough.
You were exposed to a form of feminine energy that was weaponized—and whether that came from a full-blown personality disorder or deeply unhealed wounds, the impact is real.
The more empowering question might be:
"What in me allowed me to stay?" (Not in a self-blaming way—but in a soul-reclaiming way.)
And:
"What parts of me are rising now, that this truth has been named?"
So if you’re someone who’s been targeted—let this be your confirmation: you’re not crazy. You weren’t too sensitive. You saw what you saw. And if you’ve never experienced this, but know someone who has—believe them. Because sometimes, the most dangerous wounds are the ones that no one else can see.
Why The Distorted Feminine Is So Dangerous
The distorted feminine is the shadow feminine in its most toxic form. No, she is not raw, wild and wounded—instead, she is cold, manipulative and willful. She’s not reacting, she’s calculating. And the damage she leaves in her wake is often invisible to outsiders, because it’s psychological, emotional, and spiritual. But those who’ve been caught in her web know exactly what it feels like: exhaustion, confusion, shame, and a slow loss of self-trust.
If you’ve survived this, you’re not crazy—and you’re not alone. The truth is, this kind of experience causes deep trauma within and a degree of post-traumatic stress. Today, we are going to start the healing process together by identifying it and calling it out for what it is.
Calling it what it is can feel taboo, even brutal, especially in a world that still struggles to hold women accountable when they weaponise their energy. But naming this distortion is not about blame—it’s about clarity, sovereignty, and healing. It’s about reclaiming your voice after it’s been silenced by subtle warfare.
You are not weak for having trusted.
You are not broken for having believed.
You are wiser now. And your truth is powerful.
For a long time, I didn’t have the language to explain what was happening to me. I couldn’t point to one clear thing—it was a thousand tiny cuts, impossible to name but impossible to ignore. All I knew was how I felt: rattled, exhausted, destabilised. Sabotaged in ways that felt invisible to everyone else. I told myself it was just my sensitivity. Maybe I was too much, too reactive, too emotional. I blamed my imagination—perhaps I was reading into things, maybe I was paranoid.
But my body knew. My body felt the betrayal long before my mind could make sense of it. The tension in my gut. The weight in my chest. The confusion in my nervous system.
And yet my mind kept gaslighting me: Don’t be dramatic. Women don’t behave like this. This only happens in movies. So I silenced the signals. I tried to normalise what was anything but normal.
But the truth has a way of rising. Slowly, painfully, it began to reveal itself—not all at once, but in pieces too sharp to ignore. And by the time I finally saw the full picture, the damage had already sunk deep. My mind, body, and soul were drowning in the venom of her games—the fear, the confusion, the erosion of self that comes from being slowly unravelled by someone who hides their cruelty behind charm.
The truth is, it wasn’t until a full year after the toxic game ended that the full weight of it truly hit me. That’s the thing about psychological manipulation—it often doesn’t register until long after the dust has settled. I consider myself one of the fortunate ones—because I found the courage to cut through the web and end it. To walk away, even when everything in me was still entangled.
But my heart aches for those who haven’t yet found that trust within themselves. For those still stuck in the web, questioning their own reality, too afraid to call the game what it is. If that’s you—this post is for you. My hope is that it plants a seed of strength, clarity, and self-trust. Enough to remind you that you are not powerless. You never were.
In the spiritual world, we talk a lot about the Divine Feminine—soft, nurturing, intuitive, powerful in her groundedness. But we don’t speak enough about her shadow, about what happens when wounded, unconscious feminine energy manipulates, undermines, and poisons the light. That distortion wears many faces: passive-aggressiveness, martyrdom, backhanded compliments, manipulation masked as sweetness, spiritual bypassing, or calculated sabotage masked as support.
Encountering distorted feminine energy isn’t just emotionally confusing—it’s spiritually disorienting. It often arrives in a beautiful disguise: nurturing, intuitive, magnetic. She may appear soft, even wounded. You feel pulled in by empathy, by connection, by something that feels sacred. But slowly, the undercurrent shifts.
You find yourself tangled in contradictions—what’s said doesn’t match what’s done. She praises you in public, but punishes you in private. She offers you intimacy, then uses your vulnerability as ammunition. You start to feel drained, not just emotionally, but energetically—like your light is dimming and you don’t know why.
This version of the feminine doesn’t wound accidentally—she wounds intentionally. She doesn’t seek healing; she seeks control. She may use emotions to manipulate, seduction to destabilise, or victimhood to gain power. It’s not the sacred feminine. It’s the shadow—unclaimed, unaccountable, and often disguised as empowerment.
Over time, you begin to doubt yourself. Your instincts. Your memory. You wonder if you’re overreacting, if you’re imagining things. This is by design. The confusion is the control. You may withdraw from people you love, stop trusting your gut, or feel a constant sense of unease you can’t explain.
It doesn’t just take your peace—it can distort your perception of love, safety, and even the feminine itself. And that’s one of the deepest wounds: learning to trust again—not just others, but yourself.
For almost 2 years, I lived alongside a woman who wore innocence as a mask but thrived on destabilising me. She did it quietly. Slowly. Things moved around behind my back. She praised me in front of others while undermining me in private. It was so subtle, so insidious, that I began questioning my own reality and sanity. I didn’t want to seem ungracious. Or paranoid. Or dramatic. So I swallowed it. But my body kept the score.
I started experiencing energy burns. Visions. Warnings. My nervous system was screaming the truth I had been silencing. And the hardest part? People I thought I could trust could not see what was happening to me. Some even defended her. Some told me I should apologise to her. Even when my intuition was red-hot and my heart in agony, I was told to stay professional. To keep the peace. To question myself.
Especially painful was the gaslighting from those closest to the situation—those I hoped might have my back. Their silence stung more than any accusation. This is the distorted feminine, and when she gets others on her side, it creates a toxic storm that can ravage the soul of someone anchored in their light.
I carried it all—and at times, it nearly broke me. She wasn’t just playing psychological games; she was weaving a web of sabotage that touched every part of my life. The mind games were relentless—daily manipulation that left me constantly second-guessing myself. But it went deeper than emotional warfare.
She tampered with my personal information. My accounts. My sense of security. Porn sites started appearing on my credit card statements and in my digital algorithms—things I never searched for, never consented to. She pretended to be supportive to people who asked about me, only to withhold crucial information from me, like meetings I was meant to attend. She stole my identity—literally—creating fake sexualised accounts in my name.
If I didn’t play her game—if I dared to step out of line, to question the narrative, to simply say no—I was met with a level of rage that bordered on psychotic. It was like flipping a hidden switch. Her entire demeanour would shift in an instant, but only when no one else was watching. That was part of her power—her ability to perform sweetness for the world while unleashing something far more venomous in private.
The bite-back was swift and sharp—emotional whiplash. One moment charm, the next moment cruelty. The kind of cruelty that wasn’t loud, but surgical. Designed to cut deep in ways that others couldn’t see.
There were moments I’ll never forget. Like the times I turned my back to walk away, I’d turn back around unexpectedly, and there she’d be: eyes locked onto my back, staring daggers. Her face twisted in a kind of contempt that felt inhumane. I wasn’t supposed to see it. But I did. And it still haunts me.
That look wasn’t just anger—it was ownership denied. It was the rage of someone who had lost control over a narrative she thought she’d mastered. And once you see that mask drop, even for a second, you can never unsee it.
She invaded every boundary I had. She went through my personal belongings, entered my private space without permission, and crossed lines no one ever should. I once found a dead bird placed among my things—an image I’ll never forget. Whether it was meant as intimidation or a message, it shook me to my core.
She would drip-feed me small, seemingly harmless narratives—petty, subtle comments meant to make me question the intentions of people I cared about. Over time, those seeds of doubt grew, and I began second-guessing everyone around me. That’s how deep her manipulation ran—slow, deliberate, and meant to isolate.
And behind the scenes, she played both sides. To some, she painted me as untrusting, incapable and even at times unfair. To others, she praised me like I was everything. It was calculated chaos—designed to keep me isolated, confused, and constantly defending myself.
I could talk for hours and still not cover everything that happened. But these are just a few of the heavier things that stand out, because they left marks I’m still working to heal.
I have been having healing sessions to cut the cords. In my last session, a giant sword was removed from my heart along with lots of mini daggers. I viscerally felt them leave—old betrayals, betrayals I had dismissed or internalised, leaving my body. And I began to see it for what it was: not a personal failure, but a collective wound. This is what distorted feminine energy does. It sees the light and seeks to dim it because it cannot yet hold its own.
It seeks proximity to power but resents it. It performs love but feeds on fear. It wears sweetness while spreading shame. And if you're someone holding Divine Feminine or Divine Masculine energy—reverent, open-hearted, grounded in love—it will find you. And it will test you. But here’s the truth: it will never break you.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been through it, know that you’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And it’s not your fault. Also, I deeply stress this - if you have unknowingly aligned with a distorted feminine energy, know that your discernment is your power. And it’s never too late to see clearly.
How To Begin Healing
Healing after this kind of sabotage isn’t just about moving on—it’s about reclaiming what was taken: your clarity, your self-trust, your voice. To heal from this is to choose to rise not with rage but with revelation. And I share this topic and my own personal experience not to vilify, but to illuminate. Because I believe when we name the distortion, we reclaim our clarity. And when we tell the truth, even the shadow begins to lose its grip.
Healing from this isn’t linear, and it isn’t easy. But it is absolutely possible.
1. Name it. Clarity is power. When you name what happened, without minimising or rationalising it, you reclaim your reality. Gaslighting loses its grip the moment you call it what it is.
2. Rebuild trust with yourself. Start small. Your nervous system may be wired to doubt your intuition, so begin with micro-decisions. Listen to your body. Pay attention to what gives you peace, and what stirs anxiety. Relearn how to trust your own internal signals.
3. Grieve. Not just the person, but the illusions. The version of love you thought it was. The parts of you that were silenced or ignored. Give yourself permission to feel the betrayal, the confusion, and the anger. Forgive yourself - fiercely.
For not seeing it sooner. For staying too long. For losing parts of yourself. You are not weak—you were deceived. And you are healing now. That’s what matters.
4. Reconnect with the Sacred Feminine. Exposure to distorted feminine energy often creates mistrust not only in people but in the feminine itself. A significant part of healing is reconnecting to healthy, divine feminine energy within yourself or the world that is nurturing, empowering, and aligned. The kind that holds space, doesn’t manipulate. This helps rewrite your inner blueprint of what feminine energy is: warm, wise, and life-giving.
Connect with wise feminine archetypes: Meditate on or journal about goddesses or feminine figures who embody strength and softness—Kuan Yin, Sekhmet, Mary Magdalene, Oshun, etc.
Rewild and spend time in nature. Let her teach you what it feels like to be held without expectation. Let the earth re-mother you. The divine feminine does not control—she flows. She doesn’t drain—she nourishes. Let Mother Earth show you who the divine feminine truly is.
5. Protect your field. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re clarity. Don’t apologise for protecting your peace. Let your ‘no’ be sacred. Let your space be intentional.
6. Don’t heal alone. Talk. Share. Whether with a therapist, healer, or safe friends, what was done in secrecy must be brought into the light. That’s how you dissolve shame and call back your power.
7. Reclaim the Body with somatic healing. When you've been exposed to manipulation and emotional chaos, your nervous system often becomes dysregulated—trapped in cycles of hypervigilance, freeze, or shutdown. Healing must begin in the body. Regulate your nervous system with breathwork, vagus nerve toning, or grounding rituals such as barefoot walking, cold water immersion or eating grounding foods like sweet potato, carrots, pumpkin, nuts or seeds.
Trauma-informed movement, such as yoga or intuitive dance, helps you to reconnect with sensation and rebuild safety in the body.
Use body scanning + tracking. Notice where you hold tension when triggered—acknowledge it without judgment, and offer compassion to those parts.
The body keeps score. Let it speak—and then listen with tenderness.
How to Protect Yourself from Distorted Feminine Energy
If you’ve encountered this kind of energy—manipulative, covert, and emotionally corrosive—your first instinct might be to explain, fix, or reason with it. But the truth is, people operating from distorted feminine energy don’t thrive on connection—they thrive on confusion and control. So protection must begin with clarity.
1. Trust what your body is telling you.
If your gut clenches around someone—even when they’re smiling—pay attention. Your body often knows what your mind hasn’t yet named.
2. Stop engaging in the game.
Withdraw your emotional energy. Do not defend yourself, over-explain, or try to win them over. Silence isn’t weakness—it’s strategy.
3. Document everything (if needed).
If sabotage is spilling into your personal or professional life, keep records. Screenshots, messages, voice notes. You’re not being paranoid—you're protecting your peace.
4. Set firm, clear boundaries.
This might mean physical distance, blocked communication, or confronting the truth in yourself about what you’ve tolerated. Boundaries are not about punishing others—they're about honouring yourself.
5. Don’t seek validation from outsiders.
People who haven’t experienced this often won’t understand it. Protect yourself anyway, even if no one claps, even if no one believes you.
Healing from distorted feminine energy is a sacred return to truth. It’s a journey from manipulation to clarity, from depletion to embodiment, from fragmentation to wholeness.
And you are not alone in it. You are not crazy. You are not weak.
You are waking up. You are reclaiming yourself. And that is the most powerful thing you can do.
To anyone walking through the wreckage of gaslighting, spiritual sabotage, or betrayal—take heart. You’re not alone. And your truth is your medicine.
Healing from this kind of experience isn’t about rushing to “move on.”
It’s about rebuilding yourself from the inside out—nervous system, mind, spirit, and soul.
It’s about learning that you are the safest place you know.
It’s about reclaiming your softness, your intuition, and your fire—without apology.
You didn’t deserve what happened.
But you absolutely deserve the healing that follows.
“I no longer shrink to keep the peace, dim to make others comfortable, or bleed to prove my worth. I rise in truth, I stand in self-trust, and I reclaim every part of me that was ever silenced by someone else’s shadow. I am not here to play the game—I am here to break the pattern.”